老闆寄給我的笑話,說是老闆娘寄給他看的。老闆說我一定會喜歡,因為我一向愛笑男人幼稚(唉,天地良心喲,我才沒咧,只是陳述事實。)不過,看了這笑話,我的確笑了出來,有些症頭果然是男人的通病啊。老闆還要我翻譯成中文,廣為傳播。嗯,好唄,老闆有令,就翻譯一下,讓大家欣賞囉。
抱歉,出處不可考,若有人知道,煩請告知,會將出處補上。
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Summer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
成人教育中心:成年男子暑期課程
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 17 th 2009
註冊截止日期:2009/8/17 星期五
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
注意事項:由於本系列課程較為複雜且艱深,每班人數將限制於8人以下
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
課程一
如何將水填充於製冰盒內 - 將佐以投影片逐步解說
四星期課程,每週星期一與星期三各2小時,下午7:00開始
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
課程二
廁紙捲的使用 - 廁紙會自己自動換捲嗎?
圓桌討論形式
兩星期課程,每週六各2小時,中午12:00開始
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
課程三
小便技術可行性?
利用掀起馬桶蓋的技巧,避免弄髒馬桶蓋,以及如何不尿濕地板、牆壁與旁邊的浴缸
團體實際操作練習
四星期課程,每週六各2小時,晚間10:00開始
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
課程四
發現洗衣籃與地板的根本性不同 - 照片展示與圖示解說
三星期課程,每週六各2小時,下午2:00開始
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
課程五
晚餐餐盤 - 他們會自己浮起並飛進廚房裡的水槽嗎?
影片展示解說
四星期課程,每週星期二與星期四各2小時,下午7:00開始
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
課程六
失去地位 - 當搶輸電視遙控器的時候
求助專線與心理諮商團體
四星期課程,每週星期五與星期六,下午7:00開始
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
課程七
學習如何找東西 -
從正確的地方找起,以及避免一邊咆啸,一邊把屋子弄得亂七八糟
開放論壇
週一2小時,下午8:00開始
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
課程八
衛教課程 - 送老婆花並不會對健康有損害
圖示與影帶解說
三晚課程,星期一、三、五各2小時,下午7:00開始
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
課程九
真正的男人在迷路時會問路 - 實地演練
星期二下午6:00開始,地點另行公佈
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
課程十
是否真的是因為基因造成的不可能? 當老婆路邊停車時,保持安靜
實地開車模擬
四星期課程,星期六中午,2小時
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
課程十一
學習如何生存 - 母親與老婆的基本不同之處
線上課程與角色扮演體驗
星期二下午7:00開始,地點另行公佈
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
課程十二
如何成為一位理想的購物同伴?
肢體放鬆練習、冥想與呼吸技巧
四星期課程,每星期二、四各2小時,下午7:00開始
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
課程十三
對抗『大腦萎縮症』 - 如何記得生日、紀念日,或其他重要節日,以及在即將遲到時,記得打電話
提供大腦功能復甦術與全腦葉切除手術
三晚課程,星期一、三、五各2小時,下午7:00開始
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
課程十四
瓦斯爐與烤箱- 那是什麼?以及使用方法
現場示範教學
Upon completion of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
修完以上所有課程且存活者,將可獲得結業證書以玆證明
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